Chapter Thirty Six: Apologies

Hey guys who may or may not be a fan of my challenge. Seriously, I am aware that this stupid thing has been all over the place lately. And I apologize, I really do. These glitches and constant changing of houses isn't fun for me, either. And I'm hoping that they aren't going to be happening anymore, although I really can't promise anything. This is also added on to the fact that I am in charge of an area in a haunted forest, an area where I am brutally murdered by clowns, and I have also been busy narrowly missing an F in two classes, so yes, I am stressed. And I probably going to be stressed until Thanksgiving break, which is in a month.
Well anyways, I decided I was going to give anyone who was patient enough to actually stick with me through all this (And at this point I don't know how many of you there are) a nice long chapter, with hopefully some good laughs (And I do mean hopefully). Unfortunetly, this chapter kind of starts off on a sour note, bec-
Alessi: What the frick is this?!
Erm, a chapter?
Alessi: Huh, what?
Nothing...
Alessi: I don't mean any stupid chapter, whatever that means! Why did you stick me in ANOTHER house?!

Uhhh... Surprise?
Alessi: This isn't funny! Seriously! Look at my wrist going right through the wall. That's a BAD sign! A really really BAD sign!
I know, and I'm sorry... There was a problem, and...
Alessi: 25 kids! 25 kids and four houses!
I know, I know!
Alessi: If we keep going with that pattern, we will have 12 more houses before the challenge is finally over!
Wow Alessi... That was pretty good math, actually.
Alessi: I'm not just a pretty face, you know!

Yup, that's right, new house. I'm sorry you guys, I realize this is all kind of confusing, and I know you all loved the last few houses, but my game is really really glitchy. So I had to make a new one.

I will give a proper tour once I completely finish the house, but for now this is the basic layout: Three bedrooms, one for Alessi, and two for the kiddies, as well as two bathrooms, a kitchen/dining room combo area (that needs more work), a playground equipted with a brand new trampoline, a giant swimming pool, a huge red colored nursery, a TV area with a new video game system, and also...
Alessi: OMG! It's Pinky! She's back!
I knew you would love that!
Alessi: Pinky, my baby girl! I missed her! Where has she been?!
Around. I didn't place her anywhere till I found a good permament home for you guys.
Alessi: Oh yes, yes! Thank you Voice... But I still hate the house.
Well, let's check out the master bedroom, shall we?
Alessi: But I don't wanna go in there! I HATE YOU!!!

Alessi: Oh... Hey nevermind! Love you again!
Again? When did you EVER love me?!
Alessi: Oh, I'm sure I did once...
And is that all it takes with you? A pink bedroom?
Alessi: Well, no. Look out the window on the right!
Umm... All I see is grass.
Alessi: Not your right, my right!
Alessi, we're facing the same way.
Alessi: Look, see? I have a great view of my Pinky!
Gee, you really missed that car.
Alessi: She's not a car, she's my baby! Don't ever call her that horrible word ever again!
Okay geeze, sorry....

Alessi was so excited about her new room, that she promptly fell asleep in it.
Alessi: Come into bed with me.... *snore* My new pink bed with me..... Come and roll on top of me.... *snore*

Skylar was busy doing her homework.
Skylar: This is rediculous! Why in frickin world would I ever have to prove that Triangle A and Triangle B are congruent?! This isn't important! Why is this a required class?!
I know your pain...

Eva and Lara were doing their homework too, except outside on the porch, at midnight.
Eva: Hey Lara, what is four plus sneakers?
Lara: What kind of question is that?!
Eva: A tough one! Help me out here!

Lara: I don't know... Disco ball?
Eva: Disco ball?!
Lara: Maybe?
Eva: That's a stupid answer!
Lara: Well, you asked me a stupid question!

Rachel, on the other hand, was busy doing other things.

Rachel: Dead? Dead?! Whaddaya mean dead?! I'm not dead, your dead! I WILL KILL YOU! *deep breaths* I am really tired of losing! Time to be VICTORIOUS!

Oliver: Wow, is this Mom's new house? It's so pretty! And so are those flowers! Are those hydreangas?

Alessi: Heeey Ollie...
Oliver: Hi Mom!
Alessi: What are you doing here?
Oliver: I just came to say hello!
Alessi: Ah, I see... *fake grin* Because I was under the impression that after I raised you little rugrats, I would never have to see you again!

Oliver: But Mom, I thought I was your favorite!
Alessi: No, that would be Stephen.
Oliver: Oh... Which one is Stephen again?
Alessi: *laughing* Oh please, who doesn't know Stephen?
Oliver: Uhh...
Alessi: *still laughing* Well, thanks for the laugh! But I'm gonna go inside now! Bye Ollie!

Oliver: You are a crazy ape, Mom. You really are.

Alessi: Oh, Voice!
What?
Alessi: Is it time yet?
Time for what?
Alessi: Woohoo!
You just had a visit with your son, probably ruined his spirit, and now you want woohoo?!
Alessi: Yep!
You do know that you are gonna get pregnant, right?
Alessi: Uh, whatever. I could just go for a little woohoo right now is all.
*sigh* Okay then, let's go...
Alessi: YEEESSSSS!

Alessi: Really? Did we REALLY have to come to his house?
Yeah...
Alessi: But I want public woohoo! I haven't had that in a while!
Well boo hoo for you!
Alessi: Blah!

Sebastian: Hi, I'm Sebastian Vanderghast!
Alessi: Heeey! I'm Alessi!
Sebastian: Why are you at my house?
Alessi: Well, let me in and I'll tell you!
Sebastian: Erm... Okay?

Sebastian: Oh, I really hate the door! I really really hate the door!

Sebastian: So, umm, what do you want?
Alessi: Oh, yes! See, I hate kids. I hate them very much.
Sebastian: Alright...
Alessi: They are smelly, like rotten leftovers!

Alessi: However, I am being forced into having your baby, or babies, as it may be.
Sebastian: Wait, wha...
Alessi: So, how bout it? Wanna get this thing done? Perferably in public?

Sebastian: Well, that all depends.
Alessi: Depends on what?
Sebastian: I think I am too young to be a father...
Alessi: I'm too young to be a mother. And a grandmother...
Sebastian: Buuut... If you wanna woohoo right now, I promise we won't use protection!
Alessi: Hurrah!
Sebastian: Assuming I'm not expected to pay child support.
Alessi: Oh don't worry, Voice has got money all covered!
Sebastian:.....

Alessi: Voice, I feel offended!
Why? He ditched you for TV?
Alessi: No, even worse!

OMG!
Alessi: Yup.
He ditched you for READING?!
Alessi: I know, right?!
Dear God! What is wrong with that guy?
Alessi: I was hoping you knew!

Alessi: Hey Sebastian, put down that book and cuddle with me *hugs*
Sebastian: Erm... Okay.
Alessi: Isn't this cozy?
Sebastian: Actually, it is!
Alessi: You know what would be even more cozy?
Sebastian: No, what?

Alessi: Oh, yeah! How is this?
Sebastian: Really good!
Alessi: Let's keep going than, shall we?
Sebastian: Let's!




I feel you guys have read enough of this to know what happens next, so let's skip foward a little.

Eva: Hi Mommy!
Alessi: Um, hi.
Eva: Can I ask you a question?
Alessi: No.
Alessi!
Alessi: Whaaat?!
Eva: Huh?
Alessi, just help your daughter.
Alessi: Silence, Voice! You may be forcing me to have 100 babies, but you can not force me to be a good mother!

Eva: Well, that was disturbing.
Lyric: Get used to it kid, it happens all the time.

Alessi: AAAHHH! VOICE! MY STOMACH!
Yeah...
Alessi: What is this?!
I can not believe that you don't know by now....

Alessi: Behahfithfnidjmsglar!
And now you know.
Alessi: Ugh! I think it's coming out of my eyes!

Alessi was puking a whole lot. And she did it everywhere, even when I sent her to the bookstore.

Not too much longer after I sent her there...
Alessi: Look! A baby bump! And an ugly shirt!
Parker: Oh hey, I know you! You are my wife's mom.Woow... You're a grandmother, and you're pregnant AGAIN?! That's messed up lady! Messed up!

Autumn: Oh God, it's Mom! And she's pregnant AGAIN! Look away Autumn. Just look away!

Oliver: I'm out of here!

Eros was there too, in his snazzy suit. And he brought along a stalker...

This is Kai. My friend Ashley made her, and I stuck her and Ashley's simself in the town, so maybe more of Alessi's sons can get married and have babies.

Unfortunetly, Kai ended up becoming the local paparazzi. Which means she basicly stalks Eros everywhere.

Joy invited Alessi to a party later that evening.

Alessi: Hey look, a fancy pool... Hey wait a second... This place seems fimilar....

It does?

Alessi:Yeah, and I can't figure out how....Oh I know! Ace was concieved here!

Yep!

Alessi: Oh, that Mike Posner! He was so good to me! And to Pinky, too!

Yes, and now Joy, Kevin, Dane, Eros, and Ace all live here!

Alessi: That's pretty gross, actually...

Erm, what's the swimwear?
Alessi: Well, I'm hoping this is going to be a pool party!
I'm shocked you aren't in your bikini! You love showing your body!
Alessi: Hey, I'm pregnant! I'm sure that no one wants to see all of that hanging out!

Alessi: OMG! Who is that hunk?!

Oh hush. That's Joy's new beau.

Alessi: How did evil little Joy get a nice peice of raw meat like that guy?

Joy isn't... *sigh* Just please promise me you won't use him as a baby daddy.

Alessi: Well....

No! No! Nooooo!

NOW what are you doing?

Alessi: Showing Mr. Hot Hunk my fabulous dance moves!

Oh please, like anyone could possibly be impressed by-

Bryce: Ooh, hey! Nice moves you've got there, baby!

Alessi: Oh, these old things? *Does the sour patch* Tee hee!

*barf*

That next day...
Alessi: Oh, hey Joy! No no, I did I have fun at your party I promise... No, I was NOT flirting with your boyfriend! No, no, I was not!

Alessi: Oh but Joy, I wish me and your boyfriend could have a fling... I mean, think about all the beautiful babies me and him could have... Hello? Helllloooo? *hangs up* Oh, well. She has always been an ungrateful little shrew...

Eva: If anyone even dares to try to rob me of my beautiful painting, I will rip their eyeballs out of their pathetic little head!

Alessi: What a happy memory this is!

What a happy memory what is?

Alessi: Well, I didn't get to go swimming at Joy's hunk party...

...Not a hunk party.

Alessi: So I was going to go swimming here!

Alessi: And now I am swimming in my own water!
Eew eew! TMI! TMI!

Well, all grossness aside, Alessi gave birth to this little cutie pie, Baby #26 Sabrina Bright.

She was born with the traits Slob and Evil, which means that she will murder someone, and not clean up the mess.

And this is her slightly less adorable, though cute in her own way (possibly...) twin sister, baby #27 Jaycee Bright.

She was born with the traits Loner and Loves the Outdoors (I smell hippy!)



So yes, remember back like ten chapters ago when I really really wanted a little girl? Well, I have had seven girls in a row, and four out of the seven are redheads. So now things being twitched around, and I want some boys! And perferably boys with different color hair that would be nice...

Anyways, going back to the first paragraph of this chapter, I apologize for... Well, how screwy my game is, and my stressfulness, and the fact I haven't been posting chapters as much as I usually do. Life is just, you know, life. And I hate it so, with a burning passion. But there is nothing I can do about it. However, I am working on getting you guys a halloween special, so don't lose your patience with me yet!

Chapter Twenty One- The Romance Channel

Before we begin my "lovely" story (Note the quotes around lovely. Like literally I only just realized that people read this thing. Not that I would blame people for passing right by) I would like to make a quick announcement.
You ready for this?

Three of Alessi's beauties are in commited relationships!
*GASP*
I am happy that they did not take after their mom.

Here is our baby #2, Autumn Bright, and her fiance, VJ Alvi. These two have it made! Two youngsters living alone in a giant apartment building, plenty of money, deeply in love, and best of all, Alessi isn't around to ruin both their lives! Of course, to call this truly perfect you'd need to ignore the horrible traits they both possess, but hey, they are kind of a good looking couple... right?

Baby #6, Celio, and his girlfriend Kaylyn Langerak. And yes, THAT Kaylyn Langerak. I made her over, don't worry. But they are a very unique looking couple, aren't they? I kinda like them!

And, surprisingly enough, baby #7, Alicia Bright, who is my current favorite btw, is serious with Parker Langerak. This is funny to me, because Celio is Alicia's older brother, and he is dating Alicia's boyfriend's little sister. But still, Parker and Alicia are my favorite so far, though I suspect that it won't last, since I know that the pesky Commiment Issues trait will thwart me again!


So all and all, we have a really good chance of getting of grandbabies! And we have three new couples to fawn over! I think that I will call them.... VJutumn, Celyn, and Parlicia.
Okay, those names look a little awkward. I'll work on them, okay?!


And now, back to your reguardly scheduled baby-making ;-)

Hmmmm.... Maybe not. What is it with Alessi, always sleeping when she could be doing something important! But this time she is dreaming of teddy bears. Like that isn't weird at all...
Surprisingly enough, this simple act proves what a horrible mother she really is.

Exhibit A: Her teenage son skipping curfew to steal his mom's car and go make out with his girlfriend. And yes, the pink car does help with the whole bad boy image.

He seems to have developed some kind of a sense of right and wrong though, as before he even leaves his street he jumps out of the car and runs all the way back up the hill to get home.

Exhibit B: Dashiel being forced to use a filthy toilet. I mean COME ON, look at that thing! It looks like it will just sprout legs and walk away!

Dashiel: Eew! Why do we only have the one toilet? And why does it keep getting so dirty?!
Because your mom reproduces like a rabbit and pukes even more.

Dashiel: AHHH! IT'S LEAKING! DIRTY WATER! DIIIIRRRRRTTTTYYY WWAAATTTEEERRR!
That's the last straw!

Alessi: Eew! Tell me again why I have to do this?!
Cause you need a job around here.
Alessi: I have a job! Popping out little brats to keep you entertained!
That doesn't count.
Alessi: Well, what about my writing? My books are bestsellers!
I never read any of your stories, but I have a feeling that anyone who would buy them has no class.
Alessi: This is sooooo unfair!
Look, all I know is that Dashiel probably got some freaky STD from that toilet, and you haven't cleaned anything in a while, so quit your complaining!

Alessi: Oh great... Now you are making me clean up the frickin puddles!
Okay, listen up. I have a propostion for you.
Alessi: Oh what? Do I have to clean some more?
Well, yes, but then if you do it without complaint, you get to have some woohoo!
Alessi:....
Uhhh... Alessi?
Alessi: I get... woohoo?
Uh huh.
Alessi:... I LOVE YOU VOICE!

Well, I am a girl of my word, so as soon as Alessi was done cleaning up the bathroom, I sent Alessi down to a nearby beach house to meet the next daddy.
Alessi: Wow, look at this place! It's the perfect place to find some love!
Uhhhh no! You know the rules! Absolutely NO LOVE!
Alessi: Oh relax, Voice. I'm only interested in a one night stand.
Good, cause that's all you're getting!

Alessi: Yes! I can't believe that I'm getting woohoo!
What's not to believe about it? We've gone through this at least ten times.
Alessi: Yes, but it's great every single time!
What about the kids that come after the woohoo?
Alessi: Well yeah, they suck. But the woohoo is amaaaazing!

Here is our next daddy ladies and gentlemen, Josh Random. And yes, you are seeing this right. He did answer the door in his underwear.
Alessi: That's hot!

Alessi: Hi, I'm Alessi Bright.
Josh: Oh, Alessi. You're a pretty one, aint you?
Alessi: *giggling* Oh, you!
Josh: You wanna go in and woohoo!
Alessi: ABSOLUETLY!

However, Shane apparently cursed us, cause the second he and Alessi got inside, he raced right for the TV and put on.... The Romance Channel. Gee, you think he knows that if he goes down the hall, he will have his own little taste of romance?

Apparently not, because he looked a little peeved when I dragged him away from the television to go make a beautiful little baby with Alessi. I MEAN REALLY!

Alessi: Oh hey! There you are! You ready?
Josh: I don't know... I kinda wanna see how Billy is faring, and if Delia is stick suffering from cancer.
Alessi: .... You're talking about television, aren't you.
Josh: What else would I be talking about?
Alessi: Ummm.... Okay, listen, we... we will make this fast... Okay?
Josh: *sigh* Okay... okay, whatever.

Alessi: Weee!
Josh: Faster! Faster! Billy is in a hole in the ground!
Alessi: Okay, geeze!

Alessi: How was that?
Josh: It was a waste of time! I'm gonna go watch TV!

Meanwhile, Dane is at home, alone. The boys all went off to school, and they called the local sitter, AKA the one that got fired a while ago for neglecting Jazmyn and Alicia when they were...
Dane: Who that?
What?
Dane: Who there?
Oh no.
Dane: Mommy?
No Dane sweetie, I'm not Mommy! I am the creator of your Mommy, and...

Dane: Mommy! Help me!
No Dane, don't do that!
Dane: Mommy, Mommy! There a ghostie in my woom!
Dane, please, no! I'm not a ghostie!
Dane: Mommy, pwease help me! There's a ghostie! There's a ghostie!

Babysitter: What's going on in here?!
Dane: There a ghostie in my woom!
Babysitter: Okay, look kid. Ghosts don't exist! And neither does Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, or ELVIS! Shut your stupid little mouth, because I don't want to hear a peep from this room until your mother gets home. Now, GO TO BED!
Dane: O.O

Alessi: Oh Josh, you woohoo so good that I can't help but strut!
Josh: Whatever. Now get out of my house!

As soon as Alessi got home, she jumped right in to (I forced her to) teach Dane how to walk.
Alessi: Okay Danie, I'm going to let go of your hands, and then you're gonna walk to me. Okay?
Dane: But Mommy, the ghostie doesn't want me to walk!
But Dane, I DO want you to walk!
Dane: Mommy I hear Ghostie gan!

Alessi: Dane! I'm ashamed of you! There are no ghosts!
Well, I'm here.
Alessi: Shut up, Voice! You have nothing to do with this!

Alessi: Ugh, I feel sick.
After all this time, I'm shocked you haven't connected sickness with pregnancy!
Alessi: Say what now?
You are pregnant with a Random baby!
Alessi: Oooooohhhh.... I am really not feeling good now!

Alessi: Blargablagrgablarggablargblargablarg!

Alessi: Must I do that EVERY time?!
I don't see why not.
Alessi: Have you ever puked so much in your whole life?
I can proudly say, no, I have not!
Alessi: I hate you so much!