Chapter Fourty Six: Third of the Way Done!

Alright, so before I begin, I'd like to say that this will be the last chapter for a short while. And I know that you're probably thinking "Ugh, she literally just came back and now she's ditching us AGAIN!!!" well, I'm going on a two week vacation. I'm going to bring my laptop so I'll be able to work on the chapters, but because there's no internet I won't be able to post them.
So if anything, when I get back I might post like three chapters at a time. So that'll be fun, right?
...
...Alright, before anyone gets too mad at me, let's start this chapter!!!

Alessi: Come on white haired child! Walk torwards me now!

Buddy: Mother my dear, your mind's so ruddy! I'm not white haired child; my name is Buddy!

Alessi: *eye roll* Alright then, you creepy little poet, just walk torwards me already!

Buddy: Hey! I'm walking for the first time! But I'm afraid I've finally reached my prime

Alessi: ....What?!

Buddy: Oh, i wouldn't expect you to understand, for I will always have the upper hand

Alessi: That's not true! I am the adult, and you are the child!

Buddy: For now, but you see, a grown up is someday what I will be!

Alessi: Yes, SOMEDAY, but not today! And I refuse to argue with a toddler!

Buddy: I don't see why you can't agrue with me. You always argue with the air with such insanity!

Alessi: It's not the air! Its a voice in my head!

Buddy: You sound like a crying little bed wetter. For you aren't making this any better

Haha!

Alessi: Ugh! That's it! I'm done helping you!

Shane decided to stop by Alicia's house after school one day. This is Alicia's youngest daughter, Elissa

Elissa: Oh, it's so incredibly nice to meet you, Shane! I'd like to say that I've heard a lot about you, but unfortunetly, I'm not sure my mother even knew you existed. It's odd, too, since she is your sister and everything...

Shane: Oh, that's all right! My mother doesn't even know I exist half the time...

Elissa: Oh my, I'm very sorry

Shane:  It's fine. *smiles* You are very nice Elissa.

Elissa: Thanks, you are too

Shane: And you are also very very pretty

Elissa: Oh, well, I suppose...
Shane: I'd say that you were beautiful! Gorgeous, even!
Elissa: *blinks in confusion* I'm sorry Shane, but are you flirting with me?
Shane: *laughs* Maybe a little!
Elissa: But we're related...
Shane: Well, just barely
Elissa: Aren't you my uncle?!

Shane: *Angry* Oh please! Even if i wasn't, you wouldn't go out with me anyways!
Elissa: I never said-
Shane: Well would you?!
Elissa: *stuttering* I-I d-d-don't-t know...
Shane: Fine then! I've been rejected all my life! I don't know why I thought this'd be any different!

Elissa: Please calm down! I didn't mean to hurt you! I was just saying that we can't go out because we are too closely related!
Shane: *scowls* You wouldn't go out with my anyways. Nobody likes me!
Elissa: Well i can't say whether I would or not, but I would like to be your friend
Shane: *softens* Really?

Elissa: *hugs* Sure! You seem to really need a friend!
Shane: Oh yeah, I do!
Elissa: Well then we can be friends... but nothing more
Shane: *laughs* Okay, that works

Alessi: *sobs*

What's the matter?

Alessi: Look! It's Tuxie's cat tree!

Sooo...?

Alessi: With no Tuxie! He's goooone!

You only liked him because he ate all the fish!

Alessi: So?

So that's a horrible reason to miss a pet!

Alessi: But what if the fish come back?!

Get another cat?

Alessi: Or I can go steal him back from Buffy!

Uh, no. Buffy will rip you to shreds and then set you on fire if you touch a hair on that cat

Alessi: I don't care! I just don't want to ever see a never fish again!

Well, I can't promise that, and maybe instead of hanging around feeling sorry for yourself, you could go do something productive, like say take care of Buddy

Alessi: *scowls* But I don't like Buddy! He scares me!

He scares me too, but I still think you should spend some time with him

Alessi: *rolls eyes* If it makes you shut up, I'll go spend five minutes with him

Good girl

Alessi: Okay Buddy, promise me that you will never go fishing by the pond and bring home a fish

 

Alessi: If you do, the Lochness Monster will come and swallow you whole!

Buddy: The Lochness Monster doesn't live here, you loon! I can go fishing any afternoon!

Alessi: No you can not! If I catch you even watching the fishing channel, I'll- Oof!

What?

Alessi: I feel funny...

Alessi: Hey! A baby bump!

Yay! You're offically pregnant for the first time in five months!

Alessi: *sigh* Do I really need to keep on doing this?

Do I really need to be tempted to delete you?!

Alessi: Oh! Uhh... I love giving birth! It's, um, soooo much fun!

Yeah, that's what I thought!

Alessi: Heh...
And actually, this is good! You don't have any sketchy maternity wear this time!
Alessi: Oh don't I? Mwahahahaha!
Uhhh what?


 

Omg! Eeeeew!
Alessi: What, Voice?! Is my body not beautilicious enough for you?
Beati-what?! And that's not it! I just don't wanna see your junk!
Alessi: So you think that my "junk" is unattractive, do you?
Frankly, yes I do
Alessi: Well, I've slept with at least twenty guys who would disagree with that statement!
Okay, I know that you're being forced into this and everything, but the fact that you say that with such PRIDE is a bit alarming
Alessi: I don't have to listen to you! Goodnight!
But it's two in the afternoon...
Alessi: I said goodnight!

Alessi: *snore* My body is gorgeous *snore* Like a mannequin *snore* Beauty icon... *snore*

Buddy: Mother I am so incredibly starving! The pain I feel is so alarming!




 

Uhhh Alessi...
Alessi: Must go on tropical vacation *snore*
Alessi...
Alessi: Get man to pay... *snore* Sleep with him on island
Alessi!
Alessi: *snore* Never see kids again... *snore*
ALESSI!

Alessi: *yawn* Okay, okay, I'm up!
Good!
Alessi: What do you... Hey, where's my beautiful outfit?!
Gone.
Alessi: Gone where?!
Heck if I know! But now you have this lovely night gown!
Alessi: BUT I'M WEARING SHEEP!
Yes, and you are rocking it!
Alessi: Grrrr...
Buddy: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Alessi: Erm, what's that...?
Oh right, the reason I woke you up is cause your kid is starving to death in there
Alessi: Oh is that all? I might as well just go back to bed!
ALESSI!
Alessi: Ugh! Fine *grumbling* Changing my clothes, making me do stuff...
I can hear you!
Alessi: Like I care!

Alessi: Here kid, drink up

Buddy: Thank you mother my dear! But what took you so long to get over here?

Alessi: Well I... HEY!

Alessi: OMG YOU LITTLE NASTY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEED ON THE FLOOR!
Alessi! Calm down!

Alessi: Calm down? CALM DOWN?! I can't calm down! HE PEED ON THE FLOOR!

Yes, but-

Alessi: He missed the potty, Voice! By like, a foot!

Maybe if you tried potty training him...?

Alessi: But that's so much woooooorrrkkkk! *weeps into hands*

Uhhhh pregnancy hormones?

Alessi: *crying* Probably...

Alright, note to self, don't let Alessi take a huge break from having kids ever again... She will completely lose it

On the other side of the house, Dennis has been busy practicing his inventing skill. And it hasn't been going too good...

Dennis: Owww! Burnt myself again! And what IS this thing anyways?! A metal taco?!

Dennis: I give up! I was born to Alessi, that ought to mean I was destined for failure!

He DOES have a point...



Shane: No Jaycee, I'm not even kidding! She's preggers AGAIN! This has got to be her fiftieth time giving birth or something! *scowls* I just hate it! I can't wait till I become a young adult! This is all too much drama for me!



 Alessi: AAAAAAAHHHHH!

Oh hey! You're in labor! That was fast!

Alessi: Fast?! That was an AAAAAAAAHHHH emotional roller coaster!

Yeah, true...

Alessi: I just need to AAAAAHHHHH get this frikkin thing AAAAAHHHH out of me AAAHHHHH already before I AAAAHHHH burst!

I think you're gonna burst either way!

Alessi: That's not AAAAHHHHH funny, Voice!

Who said I was trying to be funny?



Well, after all of that screaming, Alessi gave birth to baby #33 Parry Bright

He was born with the traits Friendly and Easily Impressed

So I know techicnally speaking 33 kids isn't REALLY a third of the way to a hundred, because that's actually 33.3333, but its close enough :P Though if you want to count baby #34 as a third of the way, then go right ahead, but I think that Parry is special

Anyways, I'm happy to have reached this before going on vacation. I'll see you guys in two weeks!!! :) 

Chapter Forty Four: BIA

Heh... Hi... Sooo I'm guessing it's a safe bet that I don't have any readers anymore? Its been like five months after all...

Sooo yeah... First thing I'd like to say is...

Alessi: HEY!

Uhhh all explainations will have to be saved for later.... I think Alessi wants a word with me first... And based on that lovely expression, its not gonna be pleasant

Alessi: Hey! VOICE!!!

Erm, hey Alessi...

Alessi: You've got a lot of balls showing your face 'round here!!!

I don't have any balls. And you've never seen my face!

Alessi: Heh, right.

Well it's true...

Alessi: Doesn't stop the infuribating rage I feel inside!

It's not infuribating, its infuriating, and I'm sor-

Alessi: I don't wanna hear your stupid apology!

But I-

Alessi: Five months, Voice! FIVE MONTHS!!!

It's not my fault!

Alessi: Really? How hard is it to log on to a game?!

You don't log on to... Wait?! You know that you're in a game?!

Alessi: I've had a lot of time to think!

*gasp* You think?!

Alessi: Oh, shut up Voice!

Still, I feel that you deserve an explaination...

Alessi: I more than deserve it! I've been stuck here all alone with these sniffly little brats!

You're just as pleasant as I remember!

Alessi: Compliments won't get you anywhere! Get on with the explaination!!!

Fine! See, it wasn't my fault! I got grounded!

Alessi: It wasn't your fault you got ground?

...Okay, so maybe it was my fault!

Alessi: Ooh! What did you do! Rob a bank? Have a baby? Hire a prostitute? *gasp* Hire a prostitute to help you rob a bank and then have his baby?!

Uhhh no?

Alessi: Than what?!

I failed a class

Alessi: WHAT?!

Yeah! It's terrible, isn't it?

Alessi: That's it?!

That's it?

Alessi: You led me to believe that you got in a sexy love triangle with a prostitute and a banker-

Uhhh... What made you think...?

Alessi: And that the three of you got into a sweaty night of passion-

The three of us?!

Alessi: And then you had a baby that belonged to both of them-

Is that even possible?!

Alessi: And then you disapoint me by only failing a class!

I'm sorry?

Alessi: Me too, Voice! Me too!

Alessi: *High pitched voice* Hi I'm Voice! I'm gonna write a chapter every week! Oh never mind, that's not gonna happen because I'm stupid and I'm failing a class! And there's no prostitute in sight! I'm such a loser! La la la!

*sniffles* You're mean!

Alessi: I refuse to listen to you anymore! Get out of my head you stupid voice!

No way! You're stuck with me!

Alessi: Until you fail another class, right?!

Well, its summer you know...

Alessi: What's that?

Oh right, you guys don't have seasons... Well lets just say I dont have classes for a while

Alessi: *snorts* Doesn't matter, you're such a failure you wont even finish forcing me to have a hundred children against my will!

Is that a challenge?

Alessi: More like a prediction

Your on!

Alessi: Great... Now shut up! You're giving me a migrain...

Buddy: Ello there, Mr. Bear. Have you seen Lady BunnyPants lying around by any chance?

Oh my glob! Why is Buddy talking in full sentences? And in a weird british-y accent? And in rhyme?!

Alessi: Cause he's been left alone for five months, that's why

Left alone? Where have you been?

Alessi: Eating ice cream

I see...

Buddy: Mother, is somebody here? I don't see anybody anywhere. Why are you speaking to yourself?

Alessi: Hush up you oddball little creature!

Buddy: I might be the son of Santa, but you're the real elf!

Random...

Alessi: *bursts into tears*

What?

Alessi: He called me an elf *weeps* Elves are faaaat!

*facepalm*

Dennis: Weee! Pweety pink wunny flying evwerywhere!

Dennis hasn't changed all that much

Alessi: Yeah, but I'm sick of his annoying-ness. I'm aging him up

Why didn't you do it earlier?

Alessi: There was too much ice cream that had to be eaten

Of course

Alessi: Alright little boy child, let's-
Dennis: Mama! When I cwose mah eyes I swee spawrkles!!!
Alessi: *gasps* Really?! *closes eyes* Hey! I don't see anything!
Dennis: *giggles* Wust kwidding!
Alessi: I'm gonna get you for that...

Alessi: Yes, thats right, good boy. Reach for the flame...

ALESSI!

Alessi: Not now Voice, I'm busy!

Trying to maime your son?!

Alessi: He lied about sparkles! How could a person do that?!

I don't know, but this isn't the answer!

Alessi: Oh, what would you know?! You haven't been here in five months!

Dennis: Mama's a screwbwall...

Buddy: Yes I do agree, brother of mine. Something in Mother's head is less than fine

Alessi: Go away! You give me the creeps

Buddy: Creepy I may be, I'm not the one with no sanity

Alessi: That's it! Go back in the nursery so I won't have to hear you! *mumbling* Geeze, first Voice now this...

Buddy: I'll go back, but just keep in mind, something always goes wrong to those who are unkind

Alessi: *snorts* I don't know what that means, but you better get your caboose back to the nursery right now!

So anyways, Dennis escaped from his party unharmed, aged up to be rather cute, and gained the Grumpy trait

Dennis: Who gave me this stupid haircut?! It's so stupid!

Dennis: This cake is stupid too! I'm a guy, not a little girl! I never asked for a flowery cake! And it better be chocolate! Vanilla tastes like hatred!

Buffy: You idiot! Where are you going?! It's only second period!

Boo: So what?! I'm too cool for school!

Buffy: So your good with not getting an education?

Boo: Heck yeah I am!

Buffy: Well McSims needs workers too

Boo: Screw you, I do what I want!

Boo: Good riddance, high school!

Boo? What are you doing?!

Boo: Oh, hey Monster. Haven't heard from you in a couple years

Five months!

Boo: Whatevs

Where are you going?

Boo: I dunno. Maybe I'm gonna go start my life as a gangsta in Stangetown

That's nuts

Boo: Maybe, but it's my calling. I'm too cool for this town

What's with the pink bike?

Boo: I took in from my sister. Aint it fly?

Yeah, Boo, you really are pretty fly for a white guy

Boo: Heck to the yeah I am!

*facedesk*

Shane: I don't know what Boo is complaining about! I love school! I love reading and writing and speaking spanish!

Kid, I wish you could hear me. You're my new favorite!!!

Omg!

Alessi: Ah shite, Tuxie! Not again!

Does he do this often?

Alessi: That's the eighth dresser this month

Geeze...

Alessi: But it's a small price to pay!

A small price to pay for what...?

Alessi: He ate all the fish!

What?! All of them?!

Alessi: Yep! I can say I'd never been happier when I saw those empty bowls!

ALESSI!

Alessi: Whaaaat?!

That's terrible!

Alessi: I don't care! I love this cat now! He keeps my house smelling normal!

As normal as it can with 100 kids living in it

Alessi: Exactly!

Buffy ended up coming home early and sleeping on the couch

Alessi: DEENNNNNNNIISSSS!

Dennis: Whaaaaaaat?

Alessi: I do hope that you're planning on cleaning that up!

Dennis: Why don't you do it, old lady?! You have a lot of practice from cleaning up after your other thirty one smelly brats!

Alessi: Uh, no! No one makes fun of my babies, except me! Not even my other babies can my fun of babies! You go clean that up and take a shower, before things go baaaad for you!

Dennis: Things turned bad when you gave birth to me!

Alessi: What is that supposed to mean?!

Dennis: It means you're a terrible mother!

Alessi: And what is that supposed to mean?!

Dennis: *grumbling* Forget it...*stomps away*

Alessi: IT'S WAR, BUDDY! WAAAR!

And with that, this chapter is concluded! Hopefully I still have an audience of some sort, and I really am sorry about me getting grounded and all. But I am so determined to actually finish this thing, and I promise that if I ever take a very long break again, I will be back!

Also, I'm going to advertise my bestest friend Maddy's 100 baby challenge, which features Rowan Evander, who is like Alessi in many ways (Although I still think Alessi is crazier!!!) Anyways its really funneh and really awesome, so check it out!!!

http://www.myfirstchallenge.blogspot.com/2012/05/well-im-finally-here-in-riverview-i.html

Okays, seeya later!!! :D