Chapter Twenty Three: Angry Alessi

So, before we begin, I would like to introduce the newest power couple in the Bright family...

Baby #10, Mickey Bright, has gotten himself involved with the infamous Agnes Crumplebottom. You know, the grumpy one with the haunted house. Yeah, that one. But you know, they ARE kind of a cute couple.
I shall call them Magnes!

Checking back with Alessi, I was surprised to see her walking down the street with Kevin in tow.
Alessi: Come on Kevin, we are gonna have...
Where are you going?
Alessi: Grocery store.
To buy what?
Alessi: What do you think?
I dunno. Food? Rubber ducky? Bubble bath?

Alessi: Hey, lookie!
What?
Alessi: Jewels!

Alessi: Okay, wait here sweetheart. Mommy's gonna go get some shiny things!
Kevin: No Mommy! No go!
Alessi: I'll be right over there, sweetie.
Kevin: But the gwounds so icky! Eew!

Uhhhh what are you doing? I thought that you were gonna go get some jewels?
Alessi: But it's not a jewel I want! I want a new man friend!
You mean a new one to maipulate and use to get you pregnant?
Alessi: Pretty much, yeah.
Wow...
Alessi: But I like the kissing! And the woohoo!
Well, you ARE due to have another baby.
Alessi: Do you have a guy in mind?
Don't worry! I have the perfect one!
Alessi: Hurray!

I sent Alessi to this lovely little home. I can honestly say that this is probably one of the nicest houses I have ever built. And who is that on the porch, you ask?

Maia: Hi, I'm Maia Hespepo!
Alessi: Hi I'm Alessi. Ummmm I was expecting that there was a man here....
Maia: Oh yes, two of my sons live here with me.
Alessi: Oh, well, can I meet them then?
Maia: Uhhhhh.... Come on in?

Alessi was relieved to see Harley and another guy sitting in the corner, reading.
Alessi: Thank God. Voice, I thought you were just pranking me!
Oh, I wouldn't do that! I need you to have 100 babies, and I am not going to waste any of your time doing it.
Alessi: Still though. Does his mom really have to be here?
Why don't you talk to her? You two have more in common than you might think...

Alessi stuck Kevin in the nursery and then ran off.
Kevin: These bwocks are NOT to my wikeness.

Alessi: Soooo... this is kind of awkward, huh?
Maia: Well, it would probably be more awkward if all of my kids were here. And I have a lot of kids.
Alessi: Oh... Harley mentioned something about his mom having 50 kids...
Maia: Actually, now it's more like 60.
Alessi: Wow! Can you give me some advice?!
Maia: Sure. You just have to be irrestistible, and all the guys will come crawling to you!
Alessi: Well, that's the problem I think. I'm not very irrestistible at all.
Maia: Well, how many kids have you had?
Alessi: 15. But that's no where near 60.
Maia: Well, it's not bad.
Alessi: Can you teach me?
Maia: Maybe in the future some day.

Vincent: Wow! Who's that chick?!
Harley: Alessi Bright. Stay away from her, little brother. She's bad news.
Vincent: Oh, but she's so pretty! I think that I'm going to go say hi!
Harley: Don't say I didn't warn you...

Vincent: Hey, I'm Vincent.
Alessi: Hi, my name is Alessi.
Vincent: Yeah, I know.
Alessi: Uhh... okay? Well, anyways Vincent, do you feel like soome lovin'? Cause if you do, I'm your girl!

Alessi: And then maybe me and you can go disco dancing or somethin'.

Vincent: Wow, you like disco dancing too?! God, I could just kiss you right now!
Alessi: What's stopping you?

The two then began to passionately make out. Alessi then whispered in his ear that she wanted him, and that's when things got interesting.

Because here we see Vincent on the bed...

With his mom.

Watching TV, whilst Alessi waits upstair

Alessi: Oh, Voice, where is he?!
Uhhh... I don't know!
Alessi: You're lying! I can tell that you are lying!
Alessi...
Alessi: He's watching TV, isn't he?!

Hey! There he is!
Alessi: Where have you been?!
Vincent: Watching TV with my mom.
Alessi: But I was waiting here for you!
Vincent: Well, I'm here now, aren't I?!

Alessi: Well, fine then! Let's just get this over with!
Vincent: You aren't being very enthusiastic, are you?
Alessi: Oh please, you're just lucky I'm doing this!

Meanwhile, across the street, Scotty was trying to be a good boy and do his homework, so maybe his mom would love him the best. Fat chance of that happening, though, because Dashiel's been improving his painting skill.

Dane was outside, doing his favorite thing in the world: swinging in his formal wear.

Hey Alessi, what's wrong?
Alessi: Oh Voice, I'm just so sick of guys!
Oh come on, not all guys ditch you for television.
Alessi: Yes, but enough of them do! And it's really working my last nerve!
I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe try talking to them?
Alessi: Oh, I'll talk to him alright!

Alessi: Vincent, we are done! Through! That's the last time you ever get some woohoo from me!
Vincent: What are you talking about?! You said that we were going to go to the disco!
Alessi: Find some other girl to do that with, because I'm out!

As Alessi scurried down to the nursery to go get Kevin, while Vincent went to go tell his big brother what happened.
Vincent: You were right, Harley! She just dumped me once she got what she wanted! She ripped my heart right out of my chest!
Harley: I told you, dude. That girl just likes to catch guys in her net, then stomp on their feelings.

Alessi, I'm confused. If you're so angry with Vincent, why are you doing the stride of pride?
Alessi: Cause, Voice. Woohoo is a magical, magical thing.

Dane! What are you still doing out here?! It's dark outside now!
Dane: Leave me alone, Ghostie! I'm just trying to have some fun!
Yeah, but playing in the dark is not the way to do that!

Dane: Why don't you stop haunting me, huh?! I'm sick of it! And stop haunting my mom, too!
Whoa, how did your mom get into this?!
Dane: Because you are always making her look like she's insane! And I don't like it!

Dane: And you are making me feel like such a freak because I can hear you and only mom can. And I love mom, but she does act kind of weird sometimes. And I don't wanna be weird when I grow up.
Awww, Dane! You aren't weird, or a freak!
Dane: Thanks, Ghostie, but I just can't believe that anymore.

The twins have both taken after their mother. Scotty is always playing foosball...

Whilst Dashiel is always sleeping. And apparently he is a drama queen, too.

You know, Kevin is really cute. Granted, I still wish that he was a girl, but if I couldn't get a sweet little daughter for Alessi, I'm at least glad that I got a son as cute as Kevin.

However, not too long after that adorable picture was taken, Alessi dropped Kevin on the ground and took off running for the bathroom.

She waited patiently outside the bathroom door for Scotty to finish up.

And then patiently waited for him to leave the bathroom....

...Before dry heaving into the toilet.



Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl.

Chapter Twelve- The Little Celio That Could

Hi Alessi!...Alessi? Alessi, hello?!...... Okay, I KNOW you can hear me!
Alessi: I'm ticked off at you, Voice.
What did I do?
Alessi: Besides stick me in this prison and force me to give birth to 100 little brats?
Yes, besides that.
Alessi: You refused me my break!
Seriously, Les?
Alessi: Don't call me that! It sounds weird and foreign and also you are a jerk!
You are the one who didn't have ten kids!
Alessi: Well, I'm taking my break whether or not you like it!
I don't think so. You know what kind of power I have over you?! And besides, wheels are already in motion!

Uhhhh what are you doing with Ace?
Alessi: Well, you are going to smite me, and I needed a shield!
You sick, sick woman!
Alessi: If I go down, one of my kids are going down with me!
Alessi! I'm not gonna hurt you!
Alessi: Well then what did...
Just go look outside!

Alessi: Oh, no! No! No! No! Absolutely not!
What's wrong with Harley?
Alessi: Well, nothing. But I'm not in the mood for giving birth.
One last time, sweetie.
Alessi: And then I'm done forever?
Well, you can have a short break.
Alessi: DEAL!

Celio: Mom! There's another one at the door!
Alessi: Don't talk to him, sweetie! That's my job!

Instead of Alessi flirting with her new victim, she opts to impress him by sticking herself right through the door.

Harley: That is so hot!
Alessi: Yes, yes it is.
Oh, oh! Use the puppy dog eyes! No man can resist the puppy dog eyes!

Harley Hespepo is definetly a man.

The two began to woohoo right there on the porch, when...

Alicia: Hey Mom! Hey stranger! Just going to sneak right through and...
Harley: Uhhhh...
Alicia: *yelling in the door* Hey guys! Mom has a friend over! Be on your best behavior!

Harley: Your kids are home?
Alessi: Uhhhh yeah...
Harley: We can't woohoo here, then.
Alessi: Okay... well why don't we head some where more... private?

So where do they head for more privacy? Harley's house? A hotel some where?

Try the military base.

They both did the stride of pride out about a half hour later, grinning like complete morons.

But things take a violent (and random) turn for the worse.
Harley: I can't believe you! We had woohoo behind a tank! A TANK! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?! What if I caught something?! I'll kill you if I wake up and my crotch is covered in spots!

Alessi had the good sense to look scared, for the moment at least.

But the second Harley stomped off, she was back to doing the stride of pride.
Alessi: I JUST HAD WOOHOO! AND IT FELT SO GOOD!
Are you serious?!
Alessi: But it really did feel good, Voice.
You never cease to surprise me.
Alessi: How do you keep getting surprised?
That is the biggest mystery of them all...

Meanwhile, at home, Celio was actually doing something... civil. I mean, he wasn't trying to act all evil or anything, and chess is a very good game to learn. I am pleasantly surprised.

Jazmyn, meanwhile, was continuing to be a bad person. She was out riding her bike after dark. She was able to sneak out by the time Alessi got home, and started to act all innocent by doing her homework.

And Ace? Well, poor little Ace was the forgotten child. I think that Alessi blamed him for not getting her break, because he is one person, not two.

Luckily he had a friend in big sister Alicia. Maybe it was her Family Orienated trait, but she spent any free second she had playing with Ace. Which is great, because otherwise I feel that he would grow up bitter, and feeling alone.

Oh, smooth move, Alessi! What, did you stride right through the door?
Alessi: Oh, shut up Voice!
Never! I am in your head, and in your thoughts!
Alessi: My life is none of your business!
Well, I gave you life, soooo
Alessi: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Jazmyn: Celio! She's doing it again!
Celio: Get used to it, kid.

Whatcha doing?
Alessi: Making some sushi.
Oh God.... are you chopping up Swimmerton and Devianto?!
Alessi: No... but can I?!
NO!

Ooh, it actually looks kinda good! You've gotten better at cooking!
Alessi: Oh, thanks Voice! I can't wait to try some!
No, are you insane?! You can't eat that!
Alessi: But why?! I just want to try something new!
You can't eat fish when you're pregnant! Especially raw fish!
Alessi: But I'm not pregnant yet...
Yes you are! You just haven't gotten your baby bump yet!
Alessi:.... Fridge cereal again?
Yep.
Alessi: Kay.

The next day started out very weird, and maybe a little bit scary.
Alicia: Wake up, Celio! It's time to play rocketship!
Celio: Get out of here, Squirt, before I send you to your grave!

Alicia then went and stuck herself in the door. What is up with this family?! First the smexy-face, and now this!

But you gotta admit, Alicia is a very special kid. I mean, even if she wasn't the best big sister ever to Ace, I'm pretty sure that she is the first Bright child to not be afraid of the slide.

Alessi was teaching Ace how to talk, but as usual, it was a complete failure.
Alessi: Okay, Acey, can you say money?
Ace: Mama me is tired.
Alessi: Say money and you can take a nap!
Ace: No Mama me too tired!

Alessi: *sigh* Fine. Can you say gossip?
Ace: Mama me weally tired.
Alessi: You fail, Ace. At life.

Alessi: Blech! Blook! Ahhhhhh!
Not having fun, are you?
Alessi: I can't wait for my break!

Jazmyn some how got a hold of some first person shooter game, and she spent hours and hours shooting at people.
Jazmyn: Where are you going, you stupid jerk! Just wait to I snipe you between the eyes! It's going to splatter all over the place!

Celio, the meanwhile, became interested in a new hobby...

... Fishing! I guess his "bad boy" days were over, because all he really really wanted was to catch a goldfish.

But all he ever caught were stupid minnows.

All he ever wanted was a goldfish. Just a little goldfish! But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't catch one. But he refused to give up. He believed that he could, and he just kept trying, and trying, and trying, until...

...He finally caught one!

He put the goldfish in a bowl, right in between the two little minnows. And what did he name his new pet, you ask?
Inspiration.

Alessi: Celio! I can't believe that you brought that filthy little thing in here!
Celio: Well, Mom, it's not like the house is very clean anyways.
Oh snap!

Alessi: Oh, Voice, I hate fish so much!
But do you love your children?
Alessi: Well....
ALESSI!
Alessi: Okay, fine! I love them!
Well, your kids love the fish, and you love your kids, thus you love the fish.
Alessi: That is truly disgusting.

Alessi: Hey, hot stuff! How ya doin'?
What are you doin'?
Alessi: Making myself feel better.
By admiring yourself in the mirror?
Alessi: Well it's working....

Alessi: I have babies on the mind!
And in your belly!
Alessi: Oh, yeah... look at that!

Alessi: I love this!
The baby? Or the fact that after it is born you'll get a break?
Alessi: Yes...