Thursday, July 5, 2012

Chapter Fourty Six: Third of the Way Done!

Alright, so before I begin, I'd like to say that this will be the last chapter for a short while. And I know that you're probably thinking "Ugh, she literally just came back and now she's ditching us AGAIN!!!" well, I'm going on a two week vacation. I'm going to bring my laptop so I'll be able to work on the chapters, but because there's no internet I won't be able to post them.
So if anything, when I get back I might post like three chapters at a time. So that'll be fun, right?
...Alright, before anyone gets too mad at me, let's start this chapter!!!

Alessi: Come on white haired child! Walk torwards me now!
Buddy: Mother my dear, your mind's so ruddy! I'm not white haired child; my name is Buddy!
Alessi: *eye roll* Alright then, you creepy little poet, just walk torwards me already!

Buddy: Hey! I'm walking for the first time! But I'm afraid I've finally reached my prime
Alessi: ....What?!
Buddy: Oh, i wouldn't expect you to understand, for I will always have the upper hand
Alessi: That's not true! I am the adult, and you are the child!
Buddy: For now, but you see, a grown up is someday what I will be!
Alessi: Yes, SOMEDAY, but not today! And I refuse to argue with a toddler!
Buddy: I don't see why you can't agrue with me. You always argue with the air with such insanity!
Alessi: It's not the air! Its a voice in my head!
Buddy: You sound like a crying little bed wetter. For you aren't making this any better
Alessi: Ugh! That's it! I'm done helping you!

Shane decided to stop by Alicia's house after school one day. This is Alicia's youngest daughter, Elissa

Elissa: Oh, it's so incredibly nice to meet you, Shane! I'd like to say that I've heard a lot about you, but unfortunetly, I'm not sure my mother even knew you existed. It's odd, too, since she is your sister and everything...
Shane: Oh, that's all right! My mother doesn't even know I exist half the time...
Elissa: Oh my, I'm very sorry
Shane:  It's fine. *smiles* You are very nice Elissa.
Elissa: Thanks, you are too
Shane: And you are also very very pretty

Elissa: Oh, well, I suppose...
Shane: I'd say that you were beautiful! Gorgeous, even!
Elissa: *blinks in confusion* I'm sorry Shane, but are you flirting with me?
Shane: *laughs* Maybe a little!
Elissa: But we're related...
Shane: Well, just barely
Elissa: Aren't you my uncle?!

Shane: *Angry* Oh please! Even if i wasn't, you wouldn't go out with me anyways!
Elissa: I never said-
Shane: Well would you?!
Elissa: *stuttering* I-I d-d-don't-t know...
Shane: Fine then! I've been rejected all my life! I don't know why I thought this'd be any different!

Elissa: Please calm down! I didn't mean to hurt you! I was just saying that we can't go out because we are too closely related!
Shane: *scowls* You wouldn't go out with my anyways. Nobody likes me!
Elissa: Well i can't say whether I would or not, but I would like to be your friend
Shane: *softens* Really?

Elissa: *hugs* Sure! You seem to really need a friend!
Shane: Oh yeah, I do!
Elissa: Well then we can be friends... but nothing more
Shane: *laughs* Okay, that works

Alessi: *sobs*
What's the matter?
Alessi: Look! It's Tuxie's cat tree!
Alessi: With no Tuxie! He's goooone!
You only liked him because he ate all the fish!
Alessi: So?
So that's a horrible reason to miss a pet!
Alessi: But what if the fish come back?!
Get another cat?
Alessi: Or I can go steal him back from Buffy!
Uh, no. Buffy will rip you to shreds and then set you on fire if you touch a hair on that cat
Alessi: I don't care! I just don't want to ever see a never fish again!
Well, I can't promise that, and maybe instead of hanging around feeling sorry for yourself, you could go do something productive, like say take care of Buddy
Alessi: *scowls* But I don't like Buddy! He scares me!
He scares me too, but I still think you should spend some time with him
Alessi: *rolls eyes* If it makes you shut up, I'll go spend five minutes with him
Good girl

Alessi: Okay Buddy, promise me that you will never go fishing by the pond and bring home a fish


Alessi: If you do, the Lochness Monster will come and swallow you whole!
Buddy: The Lochness Monster doesn't live here, you loon! I can go fishing any afternoon!

Alessi: No you can not! If I catch you even watching the fishing channel, I'll- Oof!
Alessi: I feel funny...

Alessi: Hey! A baby bump!
Yay! You're offically pregnant for the first time in five months!
Alessi: *sigh* Do I really need to keep on doing this?
Do I really need to be tempted to delete you?!
Alessi: Oh! Uhh... I love giving birth! It's, um, soooo much fun!
Yeah, that's what I thought!
Alessi: Heh...
And actually, this is good! You don't have any sketchy maternity wear this time!
Alessi: Oh don't I? Mwahahahaha!
Uhhh what?


Omg! Eeeeew!
Alessi: What, Voice?! Is my body not beautilicious enough for you?
Beati-what?! And that's not it! I just don't wanna see your junk!
Alessi: So you think that my "junk" is unattractive, do you?
Frankly, yes I do
Alessi: Well, I've slept with at least twenty guys who would disagree with that statement!
Okay, I know that you're being forced into this and everything, but the fact that you say that with such PRIDE is a bit alarming
Alessi: I don't have to listen to you! Goodnight!
But it's two in the afternoon...
Alessi: I said goodnight!

Alessi: *snore* My body is gorgeous *snore* Like a mannequin *snore* Beauty icon... *snore*

Buddy: Mother I am so incredibly starving! The pain I feel is so alarming!


Uhhh Alessi...
Alessi: Must go on tropical vacation *snore*
Alessi: Get man to pay... *snore* Sleep with him on island
Alessi: *snore* Never see kids again... *snore*

Alessi: *yawn* Okay, okay, I'm up!
Alessi: What do you... Hey, where's my beautiful outfit?!
Alessi: Gone where?!
Heck if I know! But now you have this lovely night gown!
Yes, and you are rocking it!
Alessi: Grrrr...
Alessi: Erm, what's that...?
Oh right, the reason I woke you up is cause your kid is starving to death in there
Alessi: Oh is that all? I might as well just go back to bed!
Alessi: Ugh! Fine *grumbling* Changing my clothes, making me do stuff...
I can hear you!
Alessi: Like I care!

Alessi: Here kid, drink up
Buddy: Thank you mother my dear! But what took you so long to get over here?
Alessi: Well I... HEY!

Alessi! Calm down!
Alessi: Calm down? CALM DOWN?! I can't calm down! HE PEED ON THE FLOOR!
Yes, but-
Alessi: He missed the potty, Voice! By like, a foot!
Maybe if you tried potty training him...?
Alessi: But that's so much woooooorrrkkkk! *weeps into hands*
Uhhhh pregnancy hormones?
Alessi: *crying* Probably...
Alright, note to self, don't let Alessi take a huge break from having kids ever again... She will completely lose it

On the other side of the house, Dennis has been busy practicing his inventing skill. And it hasn't been going too good...

Dennis: Owww! Burnt myself again! And what IS this thing anyways?! A metal taco?!

Dennis: I give up! I was born to Alessi, that ought to mean I was destined for failure!
He DOES have a point...

Shane: No Jaycee, I'm not even kidding! She's preggers AGAIN! This has got to be her fiftieth time giving birth or something! *scowls* I just hate it! I can't wait till I become a young adult! This is all too much drama for me!

Oh hey! You're in labor! That was fast!
Alessi: Fast?! That was an AAAAAAAAHHHH emotional roller coaster!
Yeah, true...

Alessi: I just need to AAAAAHHHHH get this frikkin thing AAAAAHHHH out of me AAAHHHHH already before I AAAAHHHH burst!
I think you're gonna burst either way!
Alessi: That's not AAAAHHHHH funny, Voice!
Who said I was trying to be funny?

Well, after all of that screaming, Alessi gave birth to baby #33 Parry Bright

He was born with the traits Friendly and Easily Impressed

So I know techicnally speaking 33 kids isn't REALLY a third of the way to a hundred, because that's actually 33.3333, but its close enough :P Though if you want to count baby #34 as a third of the way, then go right ahead, but I think that Parry is special

Anyways, I'm happy to have reached this before going on vacation. I'll see you guys in two weeks!!! :) 


  1. Awe, he's adorable <3 Congrats on 1/3 of the way!

    1. Yush I love him <3 And thanks!!!

  2. HAve fun! :D

    "Dennis: I give up! I was born to Alessi, that ought to mean I was destined for failure!
    He DOES have a point..." Priceless. I love this line. So much.