Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Chapter Twenty Seven: Alessi Goes to the Library

Why are Alessi and Bradley going into an apartment building you ask?

Because Autumn lives here with her fiance, VJ Alvi.
But why is Autumn wearing those ugly clothes, you ask?

Because she just gave birth to this little cutie, Mackenzie Bright. And yes, I am well aware that the floor is glitchy... My game is just, well, yeah. And I also don't know why Kenzie has blonde hair, when her parents have red and blue hair, but it suits her well I think.

Alessi: *sigh* Look at him, all hot and blue haired. He'd be a perfect baby daddy, or perhaps step daddy to all my little tykes?
No, absolutely not!
Alessi: But why?
Because you are NOT sleeping with your daughter's fiance!
Alessi: How come?

Bradley: Whoa, who that cutie?
Kenzie: Hi me is Kenzie.
Bradley: I is Bradwey. I wike you.

Kenzie: Me too. Wanna be mah boyfwiend?
Bradley: Ah course I do!

Uhhhh.... What are doing Alessi?
Alessi: Making myself an alcoholic drink.
You are here to meet your grandbaby! There is no reason you should be drinking!
Alessi: Yeah there is. You go off and deny me a hunk.
But he is the father of your grandchild!
Alessi: So?
*sigh* Okay, just go grab Bradley. I was going to wait till tonight but it's obvious that you need this now.
Alessi: What?
A surprsie.
Alessi: Okay... Can I at least get some vodka in me first?

Alessi: Come on Brad-Brad, time to go. Say goodbye to your neice.
Bradley and Kenzie: NEICE?!

Alessi: Some surprise this is!
It's the library...
Alessi: But I hate reading! And also thinking in general.
I am aware of that.
Alessi: So why did you bring me here, exactly?!

Alessi: Ooh, look! A beefcake!
So now you understand my reasoning?
Alessi: You yes I do.... But do I really have to give birth AGAIN?!
Yes, Alessi, you do!
Alessi: *sigh* Whatever... I'm in it for the woohoo, that's all.

Lucky: Ooh, hey hot stuff! My name is Lucky Swan, what's yours?
Alessi: Hi, I'm Alessi. What's a stud like you doing in a nerdy old place like this?

Onyx: Oh God... YOU again!
Alessi: Hello Onyx.
Lucky: You know this guy?
Alessi: He's the father of my son.
Onyx: ..... Son?

Alessi: Forget about him, Lucky. I like you better.
Onyx: LIES!
Alessi: No, no lies. You're like a rock, Lucky. A hot, hot rock.
Lucky: Hehehe... Thanks.

Alessi: And you know, I'd bet that you would make beautful babies as well.
Lucky: Probably.
Alessi: Great!
Lucky: They would be interesting little things, though. Because I'm not a human, I'm an Imaginary Friend.

Alessi: Hahaha, you're a funny guy, aren't you Lucky? I know you aren't an Imaginary Friend, because I can see you!
Lucky: No, see, there was this potion...

Alessi: Oh Lucky, enough with this talk, just hold me!
Lucky: Ooh, you feel nice in my arms.
Alessi: I'd feel nice somewhere else, too.
Onyx: Filthy dirtbags....

The two then began to kiss... really really passionately. Like literally, I think they got a little too into it.

Alessi: You know, we can continue this on in somewhere less.... public.
Lucky: Hehehe, I'd love to!
Alessi: Good... And we should get out of here fast, before Onyx realizes that his son is right in the other room.
Lucky: *laughing* Okay, let's go!

With that, Alessi ditched Bradley at the library, before heading down to Science Faucilty to woohoo Lucky.

Not sure if this was the greatest idea in the world, though. I mean, they are woohooing in a labratory. Where they do experiments. What if they, like, suck up something harmful?

They both look okay though. I'm assuming that there won't be any side effects from this...

Alessi: I did a great job in there! I think that I deserve some flowers!
Lucky: Well, if you get flowers, I get money.
Alessi: Say what?!
Lucky: I'm just saying, you should pay me for all my hard work.
Alessi: You... You are a disgusting weirdo!

Lucky: What is wrong with you?
Alessi: Well, a lot actually. See, this freaky voice talks to me in my head, and she is forcing me against my will to bear and raise 100 babies that I don't even want!
Lucky: Uhhh...
Alessi: And the voice is such a hater, too, and she hates me and my Alessi-ness. She dislikes every descistion I make, and she is always telling me lies about my children. Like how my sweet little Clover is actually some kind of evil monster!
Lucky:... I think you should leave now.
Alessi: *eye roll* Well, you asked!

See this girl? Her name is Casie Edwards, and Kevin brings her home nearly every day. Me thinks the boy's smitten with a certain little lady.

Kevin than ran off to go make a lovely dinner to impress his lady friend. However, I'm not sure a salad is the right food to impress a girl. She may get the wrong message.

Casie: Wow, there sure are a lot of dirty dishes in here.
Joy: Yeah, my Mommy doesn't clean that much. I'll wash them as soon as I'm finished with my homework.
Casie: Thanks, Sweetie.
Clover: Nah, don't clean them. I kind of like the smell.
Casie: How could you possibly like the smell?
Clover: Because I think it's what a dead body smells like.

Joy: Clover, you scare me sometimes.
Clover: Good! Mwahahahaha!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Chapter Twenty Six: Evil, Evil, Evil

Have you been randomly puking all over the place?

Did you spin into sketchy, innapropiate maternity wear?

Did birthday cakes randomly appear in your kitchen over night?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are pregnant.
And also, it's party time :-D

Alessi: Whoo! Whoo! Yay! Yay!
Dane: Ha ha, yeah! Young adult time, baby!
Happy birthday Dane!
Dane: Yay, Ghostie! I'm gonna be a young adult!
I can see that. Now blow out your candles and make a wish!
Alessi: Oh, get out of here, Voice!
Pfft. You can't tell me what to do Alessi!
Alessi: Can so!
Dane: Come on Mom, leave Ghostie alone!

Alessi: Just ignore Voice, Dane.
Dane: But I'm not talk to a Voice. I'm talking to Ghostie.
I'm both Voice AND Ghostie!
Dane: Huh?!
Alessi: Ignore her, Dane! Just blow out candles and wish for grandbabies!
Dane: Yay, grandbabies!

Here he is the apple of my eye, all grown up *sniff*. I'm gonna miss our crazy lil walnut.... Anyways, Dane aged up well and rolled the Charismatic trait. So altogether he is a clumsy, insane, loner who know how to make a sale because he is charismatic. Yeah, something like that.

Kevin: Yeah! Finally! Not gonna be a little kid anymore!
Dane: What's wrong with being a little kid?
Kevin: All I did was clean! But now that I'm going to be a teenager, I'm starting fresh.

Kevin: I'm gonna be a rebel!
Alessi: *snickers*

He doesn't look much like a rebel, does he? Looks more like he'd be in high school drama club. But he's a cutie. He aged up well and gained the Heavy Sleeper.

Alessi: Okay Joy, let's blow out your candles.
Joy: Me no wanna!
Alessi: Joy, I'm trying to be patient with you. Now, let's blow out your candles.
Joy: But I'm afwaid of the fire!

Alessi: Joy, I will THROW you into the fire if you don't blow out your candles!
Alessi: What? Kids need tough love!
That isn't tough love! That's child abuse!
Alessi: Is not! I would never throw Joy in there! She doesn't know that, though.
She knows it now.
Alessi: .... Just blow out the candles, Joy.
Joy: Okays.

Well, despite how... Scary her party was, Joy made it out unscathed, and adorable! She rolled the Vehicle Enthusiast trait.

Alessi: Yay, Clover! Make a wish, sweetheart!
Alessi:... What?

Clover: Uhhh.. I mean... I wuv you, Mommy! *hugs*
Alessi: Aww, I love you too, Panda Bear! Now blow out your candles, okay?
Clover: Otay, Mommy.

Aww, who's a cute little sociopath? Or, at least she would be if she wasn't making that face. She looking like she wants to stab someone... Anyways, so Clover gained the Vegetarian trait. Sooo she's an evil vegetarian? What, does she torture the carrots to death before she eats them?

Dane: And that was the time that I unclogged the toilet!
Alessi: Oh, how interesting!
Dane: Yeah, your lucky that you weren't there...

Dane: Well, I think I'm going to leave now, Mom.
Alessi: Oh, Dane! I'm gonna miss you!
Dane: Really?
Alessi: Yeah! You make me look less insane!

Dane: Uhhh.... Your welcome?

Alessi: Bye bye, Danie! Good luck in the real world!
Dane: Thanks, Mom.
Alessi: Get me some grandbabies, okay?
Dane: Okay, Mom, I promise!
Alessi: Good boy!

Dane: Oh Ghostie? Are you here?
Dane: You didn't think that I'd forget to say goodbye to you, did ya?
A little....

Dane: Oh, Ghostie! We've had our ups and downs, but I'd say that me and you are like best friends!
Clover: What is wrong is with you, you freak?! Talking to the air again?

Dane: Oh, look at me! I'm Clover! I think I'm soooo cool but I really just have anger issues!
Clover: Whatever, whackjob.

Oh, Dane. Don't look like that! You aren't a whackjob.
Dane: *sigh* It doesn't matter anyways. I'm leaving now.
Right now?
Dane: I need to get away from these people...
Oh okay. Sooo I'll see you around then?
Dane: Yeah, Ghostie. I'll see you around.

Clover continued her reign of terror even after Dane was gone.
Kevin: Huh... What's with the random trash on the floor?
Kevin: AHHH!

Kevin: *gasping for breath* Clover, you almost made me have a heart attack!
Clover: *giggling* You're such a loser!

Things got really bad a little while later...
Clover: Mommy! Mommy!
Alessi: What is it Clover? Mommy is busy with foosball right now.
Clover: But Mommy, this is really really important!
Alessi: *sigh* Okay, sweetheart, what is it?

Clover: Well, see, I was talking to Joy... And she said that you are fat and ugly and you look like a hippo!
Alessi: *gasp* But I'm pregnant!
Clover: Yes, and I told her that, but she said that you ALWAYS look like a hippo!

Joy: Oh Mr. Moo Moo, you're my only friend!

Joy: Yes, Mommy?
Joy: But I didn't...

Alessi: I am surprised at you, young lady! You have always been... unpleasant, but never this rude!
Joy: But Mommy, I swear I didn't call you a hippo!
Alessi: I am tired of your lies, Joy! Go to your room! And leave that stuffed animal here!
Joy: *sigh* Yes Mommy...

You shouldn't have yelled at her, Alessi.
Alessi: And why not? She called me a hippo!
I bet you anything that Clover just made that up to get her in trouble.
Alessi: Not my Clover! She's a sweet little angel!
She's a demonic little tyrant!
Alessi: Nuh uh! You're just jealous that you're kids won't be as good looking as mine are!
What does that even have to do with anything?!

Clover: Hey Kevin! There you are!
Kevin: I've been standing here for...
Clover: Listen, I have a plan and I need some older person's help!
Kevin: Wait, what...
Clover: We get a rocket, and we burn everyone to a crisp! We're going to have to take Joy out first, though, and possibly Dane, but we...

Kevin: Woah, woah, woah! There is no way I am helping you murder people!
Clover: And why not?!
Kevin: Because it's WRONG!
Clover: Oh, so your that kind of person. Oh, well. Guess you're going first.
Kevin: *eye roll* Good luck trying to find someone who will help you with your scheme.

What are you doing up? It's like four in the morning!
Alessi: I feel funny!
Funny how?

Ooh, okay.

Well here he is, Baby #18 Bradley Bright.

He was born with the traits Slob and Perspective.
Aint he a doll? I'm not sure where the black hair comes from, since both of his parents have reddish hair, but I'm certainly not complaining! I'm glad he isn't another redheaded clone, and I just can't get over how cute he is!