Sunday, September 18, 2011

Chapter Twenty Three: Angry Alessi

So, before we begin, I would like to introduce the newest power couple in the Bright family...

Baby #10, Mickey Bright, has gotten himself involved with the infamous Agnes Crumplebottom. You know, the grumpy one with the haunted house. Yeah, that one. But you know, they ARE kind of a cute couple.
I shall call them Magnes! Photobucket

Checking back with Alessi, I was surprised to see her walking down the street with Kevin in tow.
Alessi: Come on Kevin, we are gonna have...
Where are you going?
Alessi: Grocery store.
To buy what?
Alessi: What do you think?
I dunno. Food? Rubber ducky? Bubble bath?

Alessi: Hey, lookie!
Alessi: Jewels!

Alessi: Okay, wait here sweetheart. Mommy's gonna go get some shiny things!
Kevin: No Mommy! No go!
Alessi: I'll be right over there, sweetie.
Kevin: But the gwounds so icky! Eew!

Uhhhh what are you doing? I thought that you were gonna go get some jewels?
Alessi: But it's not a jewel I want! I want a new man friend!
You mean a new one to maipulate and use to get you pregnant?
Alessi: Pretty much, yeah.
Alessi: But I like the kissing! And the woohoo!
Well, you ARE due to have another baby.
Alessi: Do you have a guy in mind?
Don't worry! I have the perfect one!
Alessi: Hurray!

I sent Alessi to this lovely little home. I can honestly say that this is probably one of the nicest houses I have ever built. And who is that on the porch, you ask?

Maia: Hi, I'm Maia Hespepo!
Alessi: Hi I'm Alessi. Ummmm I was expecting that there was a man here....
Maia: Oh yes, two of my sons live here with me.
Alessi: Oh, well, can I meet them then?
Maia: Uhhhhh.... Come on in?

Alessi was relieved to see Harley and another guy sitting in the corner, reading.
Alessi: Thank God. Voice, I thought you were just pranking me!
Oh, I wouldn't do that! I need you to have 100 babies, and I am not going to waste any of your time doing it.
Alessi: Still though. Does his mom really have to be here?
Why don't you talk to her? You two have more in common than you might think...

Alessi stuck Kevin in the nursery and then ran off.
Kevin: These bwocks are NOT to my wikeness.

Alessi: Soooo... this is kind of awkward, huh?
Maia: Well, it would probably be more awkward if all of my kids were here. And I have a lot of kids.
Alessi: Oh... Harley mentioned something about his mom having 50 kids...
Maia: Actually, now it's more like 60.
Alessi: Wow! Can you give me some advice?!
Maia: Sure. You just have to be irrestistible, and all the guys will come crawling to you!
Alessi: Well, that's the problem I think. I'm not very irrestistible at all.
Maia: Well, how many kids have you had?
Alessi: 15. But that's no where near 60.
Maia: Well, it's not bad.
Alessi: Can you teach me?
Maia: Maybe in the future some day.

Vincent: Wow! Who's that chick?!
Harley: Alessi Bright. Stay away from her, little brother. She's bad news.
Vincent: Oh, but she's so pretty! I think that I'm going to go say hi!
Harley: Don't say I didn't warn you...

Vincent: Hey, I'm Vincent.
Alessi: Hi, my name is Alessi.
Vincent: Yeah, I know.
Alessi: Uhh... okay? Well, anyways Vincent, do you feel like soome lovin'? Cause if you do, I'm your girl!

Alessi: And then maybe me and you can go disco dancing or somethin'.

Vincent: Wow, you like disco dancing too?! God, I could just kiss you right now!
Alessi: What's stopping you?

The two then began to passionately make out. Alessi then whispered in his ear that she wanted him, and that's when things got interesting.

Because here we see Vincent on the bed...

With his mom.

Watching TV, whilst Alessi waits upstair

Alessi: Oh, Voice, where is he?!
Uhhh... I don't know!
Alessi: You're lying! I can tell that you are lying!
Alessi: He's watching TV, isn't he?!

Hey! There he is!
Alessi: Where have you been?!
Vincent: Watching TV with my mom.
Alessi: But I was waiting here for you!
Vincent: Well, I'm here now, aren't I?!

Alessi: Well, fine then! Let's just get this over with!
Vincent: You aren't being very enthusiastic, are you?
Alessi: Oh please, you're just lucky I'm doing this!

Meanwhile, across the street, Scotty was trying to be a good boy and do his homework, so maybe his mom would love him the best. Fat chance of that happening, though, because Dashiel's been improving his painting skill.

Dane was outside, doing his favorite thing in the world: swinging in his formal wear.

Hey Alessi, what's wrong?
Alessi: Oh Voice, I'm just so sick of guys!
Oh come on, not all guys ditch you for television.
Alessi: Yes, but enough of them do! And it's really working my last nerve!
I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe try talking to them?
Alessi: Oh, I'll talk to him alright!

Alessi: Vincent, we are done! Through! That's the last time you ever get some woohoo from me!
Vincent: What are you talking about?! You said that we were going to go to the disco!
Alessi: Find some other girl to do that with, because I'm out!

As Alessi scurried down to the nursery to go get Kevin, while Vincent went to go tell his big brother what happened.
Vincent: You were right, Harley! She just dumped me once she got what she wanted! She ripped my heart right out of my chest!
Harley: I told you, dude. That girl just likes to catch guys in her net, then stomp on their feelings.

Alessi, I'm confused. If you're so angry with Vincent, why are you doing the stride of pride?
Alessi: Cause, Voice. Woohoo is a magical, magical thing.

Dane! What are you still doing out here?! It's dark outside now!
Dane: Leave me alone, Ghostie! I'm just trying to have some fun!
Yeah, but playing in the dark is not the way to do that!

Dane: Why don't you stop haunting me, huh?! I'm sick of it! And stop haunting my mom, too!
Whoa, how did your mom get into this?!
Dane: Because you are always making her look like she's insane! And I don't like it!

Dane: And you are making me feel like such a freak because I can hear you and only mom can. And I love mom, but she does act kind of weird sometimes. And I don't wanna be weird when I grow up.
Awww, Dane! You aren't weird, or a freak!
Dane: Thanks, Ghostie, but I just can't believe that anymore.

The twins have both taken after their mother. Scotty is always playing foosball...

Whilst Dashiel is always sleeping. And apparently he is a drama queen, too.

You know, Kevin is really cute. Granted, I still wish that he was a girl, but if I couldn't get a sweet little daughter for Alessi, I'm at least glad that I got a son as cute as Kevin.

However, not too long after that adorable picture was taken, Alessi dropped Kevin on the ground and took off running for the bathroom.

She waited patiently outside the bathroom door for Scotty to finish up.

And then patiently waited for him to leave the bathroom....

...Before dry heaving into the toilet.

Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl. Please be a girl.

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