Chapter Thirty Eight: I Think I Saw A Puddy Tat

So, ever since Alessi got that break of hers, the ages of her kids have been kind of... Funny. And the triplets are teens now, and it still isn't sorted out yet.... which means that a few kids have to have their birthdays in order to even things out...

Alessi: Okay, Sabbie my darling, it's time for you to blow out your candles!
Sabrina: Okay, Mama! *whispers* Just wait Mother Dear, you just wait...
Alessi: What was that?
Sabrina: Notting, Mommy! *giggles*
Alessi: Oh, aren't you a cutie?
Sabrina: I sure am Mommy! Hehe!

Alessi: And what will you wish for Sabbie?
Sabrina: *laughing* I will kill you all! Mwahahaha!
Alessi: Huh? What?!
Sabrina: Ummm.... Me means I will spwead happiness and wuv!
Alessi: Awww, aren't you a sweetie?

Alright, here she is! Our second evil child, and she's a cutie, too! And she really rocks that cowgirl hat! Anywho, Sabrina aged up well and rolled the Snob trait... Gee, isn't this kid a winner? She's a sloppy evil snob, how can things get any worse?! (Knock on wood!)

Alessi: Okay Jaycee, my big lipped child...
ALESSI!
Alessi: What? I'm just pointing out the obvious here!
Hey, some people pay ALOT of money for big ole lips like hers!
Alessi: Ha! You admit her lips are freakish and large!
Well, I wasn't really insulting her, and you are her mother...
Alessi: Oh, hush you!
Jaycee: Mommy, me blow out candles now?

Alessi: *puts Jaycee on ground* Whatevs, I'm gonna go play video games now!
Sabrina: Hey, my twin is still a baby... How is that even possible?!
Rachel: Eew, cake again?! I'm gonna have cookies instead!

Jaycee is plenty pretty, I think, if it wouldn't be for those lips of her's. I think she kind of reminds me of Autumn in that sense. Autumn was beautiful, if only her nose wasn't so grossly enlarged. And I'm sure that Jaycee would be a little cutie pie if her lips were normal, or at least a bit more rounded... Oh well, maybe it'll even out when she gets older!

Lara: Okay, Sabrina, let's tackle your homework, shall we?
Sabrina: In a minute, Lars!
Lara: It's Lara...
Sabrina: *laughing* Whatevs, freak!
Lara: Now Sabrina, that isn't...
Sabrina: Oh hush, you! I'm busy!
Lara: ...Busy doing what?

Sabrina: I've been craving sugar lately....
Lara: What?

Sabrina: Hi Buffy...
Buffy: Hello!
Sabrina: Do you have something for me?
Buffy: Nuh uh!
Sabrina:  HAND OVER THE CANDY, PUNK!
Buffy: No, no! Give it baaaack!

Lara: SABRINA!
Sabrina: Mmmmm.... This is sooo good! I bet you wish you had this right now!
Lara: Oh come you little.....
Sabrina: SAY ANOTHER WORD AND YOU WILL WAKE UP VERY CONFUSED... IN A VOLCANO!!!!
Lara: Say what? What words? I'm not saying anything!
Sabrina: Yeah, that's what I thought!

Hi Rachel!
Rachel: Oh not now, Echo!
I was just trying to be friendly...
Rachel: Well, I'm busy trying to clean these stupid plates, but this sink isn't working!
Well, maybe you need to be more gentle with it!

Rachel: Aah!
Hey, I told you not to push it!
Rachel: This is all YOUR fault, Echo!
Whoa whoa... What?!
Rachel: Well, aren't paranormals always responsible for problems around the house?!
Okay first, nooooo! And second, I am not a paranormal!
Rachel: Lies!

Look, you should probably get to fixing this before your mother finds out you broke the sink!
Rachel: Uh, no! You're the one who broke it!
No, that was you!
Rachel: No it was not! You're the paranormal, and you broke it, so you fix it!
Even if it was me, I couldn't fix it, because, as your mother says, I don't have a body!
Rachel: My mother?! Are trying to convince me that my family is screwed up?!
It IS screwed up!
Rachel: La la la, I can't hear you! La la la!
You can't tune me out! I'm in your head!

Rachel: *grumbling* Stupid Echo... Wrecking the sinks... Making me do stuff... Telling me my mom is a loon!

 




Lara: I'm so confuzzled.... What Echo?!
Eva: Oh no... Breaking sinks?! Random echoes.... BIG BROTHER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!!!
Lara:....Oh, why can't I have normal sisters?!

Alessi: Come on Boo, you can do it!
Boo: Me is scared Mommy!
Alessi: Come on Boo Bear, just try it!

Boo: Mommy, me is walking!
Alessi: Yes Boo, yes! Good Boo, good!

Alessi, why don't you play with Buffy? You haven't even looked at her since you gave birth to her!
Alessi: Oh no, I can't do that....
But why? She's so cute, and I think Boo's starting to get annoyed with you anyways...
Alessi: But I can't play with her, Voice....

Alessi: Those eyes... They frighten me!

Lara: Mom! Don't say that about the baby! *scoops up Buffy* It's not her fault! And she is so sweet!
Buffy: I loves you, Lara!
Lara: Awww, I loves you too Buffy! Now come on baby girl, let's go to bed!
Buffy: Okays Lara...

Lara: Goodnight Buffy!
Buffy: Night night Lara!
Alessi: Ick!
Alessi!
Alessi: Whaaaaat! You want me to think this is cute?! The girls eyes are red!

Jaycee, meanwhile, is outside swinging after midnight. And I gotta say, she is actually kinda cute when she is smiling....

Sabrina is outside too, being well, Sabrina
Sabrina: Why do you always look so freaky?
Eva: Freaky?! Who's freaky?! I'll tell you who's freaky... Big Brother!!!!

Sabrina: When will you just die already so I can stuck your ghost up into a vacuum and lock it up in a jar so I can just sit there and watch it try to escape?!
Eva: Uhhh...
Eva, darling, I would suggest not talking to this girl anymore....

Eva: AAH! Big Brother, I knew you had something to do with this!
Sabrina: Gee, you ARE a freak! Maybe I should just kill you off now....
Uhh.... Eva?
Eva: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Sabrina: Okay, so how should I do her in? A pipe or a .... OMG! AAAH!
Jaycee: Haha, you just peed yourself!
Sabrina: Hehe... No one saw that.... Right?!
Jaycee: Well I saw it... but I won't tell!
Sabrina:.... Promise!
Jaycee: Of course!
Sabrina: Great! You get to live, then!
Jaycee: Whew....

Alessi: Erm, Voice?
Yes?
Alessi: What is this?
It's a cat, Alessi.
Alessi: Ooh, ummm, what's a cat?
It's the thing staring at you right now!
Alessi: Oh, ummm, why is it here?
Because it's gonna live here with you!
Alessi: Wait... What?! Some weird creature! And I don't even know his name!

His name is Mr. TuxedoPants, but just for time's sake we're going to call him Tuxie. He is hyper, destrustive, and piggy!
Alessi: Whoa, whoa... What?!
What?
Alessi: You give me a cat that is disgusting and destructive, and will never sleep?!
Yeah, that's right!
Alessi: What did I do to deserve this?!
EVERYTHING!!!!

Tuxie quickly made himself right at home. He tore up two newspapers and used the other one to take a nap.

And then he went and hissed at Rachel.
Rachel: Echo! Did you possess the cat and make him do this?!
What?! No! I told you, I am not a paranormal!

Alessi: Eew! Is he DRINKING from the toilet?!
Yeah...
Alessi: But I was going to use that!
You still can, you know....
Alessi: Not with toilet water splashed up everywhere!
....Eew.

Alessi: And of course, he's rolling in the puddles he left on the floor!
It's actually pretty cute...
Alessi: But he is wrecking my house!
Not really. He's just making it smell bad...
Alessi: It smells like those stupid fish...

Oh, well, it looks likes Tuxie is already taking over the house. This should be fun...