Friday, August 19, 2011

Chapter Twelve- The Little Celio That Could

Hi Alessi!...Alessi? Alessi, hello?!...... Okay, I KNOW you can hear me!
Alessi: I'm ticked off at you, Voice.
What did I do?
Alessi: Besides stick me in this prison and force me to give birth to 100 little brats?
Yes, besides that.
Alessi: You refused me my break!
Seriously, Les?
Alessi: Don't call me that! It sounds weird and foreign and also you are a jerk!
You are the one who didn't have ten kids!
Alessi: Well, I'm taking my break whether or not you like it!
I don't think so. You know what kind of power I have over you?! And besides, wheels are already in motion!

Uhhhh what are you doing with Ace?
Alessi: Well, you are going to smite me, and I needed a shield!
You sick, sick woman!
Alessi: If I go down, one of my kids are going down with me!
Alessi! I'm not gonna hurt you!
Alessi: Well then what did...
Just go look outside!

Alessi: Oh, no! No! No! No! Absolutely not!
What's wrong with Harley?
Alessi: Well, nothing. But I'm not in the mood for giving birth.
One last time, sweetie.
Alessi: And then I'm done forever?
Well, you can have a short break.
Alessi: DEAL!

Celio: Mom! There's another one at the door!
Alessi: Don't talk to him, sweetie! That's my job!

Instead of Alessi flirting with her new victim, she opts to impress him by sticking herself right through the door.

Harley: That is so hot!
Alessi: Yes, yes it is.
Oh, oh! Use the puppy dog eyes! No man can resist the puppy dog eyes!

Harley Hespepo is definetly a man.

The two began to woohoo right there on the porch, when...

Alicia: Hey Mom! Hey stranger! Just going to sneak right through and...
Harley: Uhhhh...
Alicia: *yelling in the door* Hey guys! Mom has a friend over! Be on your best behavior!

Harley: Your kids are home?
Alessi: Uhhhh yeah...
Harley: We can't woohoo here, then.
Alessi: Okay... well why don't we head some where more... private?

So where do they head for more privacy? Harley's house? A hotel some where?

Try the military base.

They both did the stride of pride out about a half hour later, grinning like complete morons.

But things take a violent (and random) turn for the worse.
Harley: I can't believe you! We had woohoo behind a tank! A TANK! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?! What if I caught something?! I'll kill you if I wake up and my crotch is covered in spots!

Alessi had the good sense to look scared, for the moment at least.

But the second Harley stomped off, she was back to doing the stride of pride.
Are you serious?!
Alessi: But it really did feel good, Voice.
You never cease to surprise me.
Alessi: How do you keep getting surprised?
That is the biggest mystery of them all...

Meanwhile, at home, Celio was actually doing something... civil. I mean, he wasn't trying to act all evil or anything, and chess is a very good game to learn. I am pleasantly surprised.

Jazmyn, meanwhile, was continuing to be a bad person. She was out riding her bike after dark. She was able to sneak out by the time Alessi got home, and started to act all innocent by doing her homework.

And Ace? Well, poor little Ace was the forgotten child. I think that Alessi blamed him for not getting her break, because he is one person, not two.

Luckily he had a friend in big sister Alicia. Maybe it was her Family Orienated trait, but she spent any free second she had playing with Ace. Which is great, because otherwise I feel that he would grow up bitter, and feeling alone.

Oh, smooth move, Alessi! What, did you stride right through the door?
Alessi: Oh, shut up Voice!
Never! I am in your head, and in your thoughts!
Alessi: My life is none of your business!
Well, I gave you life, soooo
Alessi: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Jazmyn: Celio! She's doing it again!
Celio: Get used to it, kid.

Whatcha doing?
Alessi: Making some sushi.
Oh God.... are you chopping up Swimmerton and Devianto?!
Alessi: No... but can I?!

Ooh, it actually looks kinda good! You've gotten better at cooking!
Alessi: Oh, thanks Voice! I can't wait to try some!
No, are you insane?! You can't eat that!
Alessi: But why?! I just want to try something new!
You can't eat fish when you're pregnant! Especially raw fish!
Alessi: But I'm not pregnant yet...
Yes you are! You just haven't gotten your baby bump yet!
Alessi:.... Fridge cereal again?
Alessi: Kay.

The next day started out very weird, and maybe a little bit scary.
Alicia: Wake up, Celio! It's time to play rocketship!
Celio: Get out of here, Squirt, before I send you to your grave!

Alicia then went and stuck herself in the door. What is up with this family?! First the smexy-face, and now this!

But you gotta admit, Alicia is a very special kid. I mean, even if she wasn't the best big sister ever to Ace, I'm pretty sure that she is the first Bright child to not be afraid of the slide.

Alessi was teaching Ace how to talk, but as usual, it was a complete failure.
Alessi: Okay, Acey, can you say money?
Ace: Mama me is tired.
Alessi: Say money and you can take a nap!
Ace: No Mama me too tired!

Alessi: *sigh* Fine. Can you say gossip?
Ace: Mama me weally tired.
Alessi: You fail, Ace. At life.

Alessi: Blech! Blook! Ahhhhhh!
Not having fun, are you?
Alessi: I can't wait for my break!

Jazmyn some how got a hold of some first person shooter game, and she spent hours and hours shooting at people.
Jazmyn: Where are you going, you stupid jerk! Just wait to I snipe you between the eyes! It's going to splatter all over the place!

Celio, the meanwhile, became interested in a new hobby...

... Fishing! I guess his "bad boy" days were over, because all he really really wanted was to catch a goldfish.

But all he ever caught were stupid minnows.

All he ever wanted was a goldfish. Just a little goldfish! But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't catch one. But he refused to give up. He believed that he could, and he just kept trying, and trying, and trying, until...

...He finally caught one!

He put the goldfish in a bowl, right in between the two little minnows. And what did he name his new pet, you ask?

Alessi: Celio! I can't believe that you brought that filthy little thing in here!
Celio: Well, Mom, it's not like the house is very clean anyways.
Oh snap!

Alessi: Oh, Voice, I hate fish so much!
But do you love your children?
Alessi: Well....
Alessi: Okay, fine! I love them!
Well, your kids love the fish, and you love your kids, thus you love the fish.
Alessi: That is truly disgusting.

Alessi: Hey, hot stuff! How ya doin'?
What are you doin'?
Alessi: Making myself feel better.
By admiring yourself in the mirror?
Alessi: Well it's working....

Alessi: I have babies on the mind!
And in your belly!
Alessi: Oh, yeah... look at that!

Alessi: I love this!
The baby? Or the fact that after it is born you'll get a break?
Alessi: Yes...

1 comment: